


They Don't Exist

by skyhealer



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Episode: S01E06 Rare Species, Soft Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Storytelling, blink and you miss it imortal jaskier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:34:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24151378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyhealer/pseuds/skyhealer
Summary: "How did you and Geralt meet?" Ciri asks one night on the road.Jaskier never has been able to resist telling a story.. Especially one with a happy ending.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 4
Kudos: 242





	They Don't Exist

**Author's Note:**

> alternate title "How I met your father: a dinner story for a princess and a (surprisingly invested) sorceress

“Jaskier?”

The bard looked up from where he was tuning his lute at the hesitant tone in Ciri’s voice. “Hmm? What is it, little cub?” Jaskier wasn’t sure what had led to him running into Geralt and his child surprise again on the road (Ciri insisted it was Destiny, which made Geralt scowl though he never protested) but he was grateful. Especially since it led to a reconciliation between him and the Witcher after Geralt’s heartfelt, and surprisingly wordy, apology for his words on the mountain. Geralt has also invited the bard to join them while they traveled and to stay with them at their destination, Kaer Morhen. He was…less grateful when Yennefer of fucking Vengerberg joined them, but could be too upset when he realized the sorceress was really only there for Ciri. 

Not to mention her meddling had led to an admission of mutual romantic feelings between him and Geralt, which in turn had led to many many kisses, which Jaskier was grateful for. _Immensely._

Ciri was still fidgeting on the log next to his at their little campfire. “You know you can ask me anything,” he prompted gently as he caught her gaze. 

“How did you and Geralt meet?” She blurted out in a rush. She bit her lip, and continued, “I mean Geralt never talks, about anything really, and you’ve never said even though you’ve told me so many stories about your travels with him and you followed him for so long. And I mean I’ve heard the song, the toss a coin one, but it doesn’t say how you met, just that you went with him. And then even after what happened between you, when he was so mean, you still forgave him and still loved him. And I guess. I guess I’m just curious how it all got started.” The girl was blushing slightly when she finished, but was meeting his gaze. 

“Yes Jaskier,” Yennefer drawled from her perch on another log where she was, and he quoted, doing important sorceress tasks. “What exactly did our dear Witcher say to you upon your first meeting to make you want to follow in his wake?”

Jaskier took his hands off his lute and steepled them beneath his chin, aware he had both Ciri and Yennefer’s eyes on him, and thought back to that day in the tavern. He’d been younger then (not that he looked much different now, and wouldn’t for quite some time, thank you very much _Yennefer_ ) and far more naïve. Then he caught sight of Geralt- just as he had back then- emerging from the nearby woods, the rabbits he’d clearly just caught for their dinner in hand, and grinned. 

“They don’t exist.”

Both Ciri and Yennefer looked at him in confusion. “What don’t exist?” The princess finally asked. 

The bard had to laugh, just a little, at that. “That is _exactly_ what I asked!” He exclaimed, pointing at her. They both still looked confused, though Yennefer’s expression was shifting more towards irritation. “You asked what Geralt first said to me. ‘They don’t exist’ were the first words our Witcher ever said to me.”

Ciri looked to Yennefer as if she could clear things up, but the sorceress just kept looking at Jaskier, a mix of confusion and exasperation on her face. “I’m…even more confused,” the girl finally admitted. Jaskier grinned. He did so love a captivated audience. 

“Would you like to hear the tale?” He asked, and Ciri nodded eagerly. Yennefer rolled her eyes and went back to what she’d been doing, but was still listening. He thought. Returning his hands to his lute he began to pluck the occasional note as he spoke. 

“So there I was. A fantastically talented but as of yet unknown bard. Fresh from my studies and ready to make my mark on the world. I was in the only tavern in a small backwater town in the middle of nowhere, and had just finished a _masterful_ performance to a completely uncivilized group of people, who wouldn’t have known good music if it jumped up and bit them.” Yennefer scoffed- loudly- at this and he shot her a glare, which she ignored. “ _Anyway_ ,” he continued, “I was crouched, gathering the meager offerings such a wondrous performance had gained me, when I looked up, there he was. Half hidden in the shadows of the most tucked away corner in the place our Witcher sat alone. Beautiful and brooding.”

“I wasn’t brooding,” Geralt grunted as he reached them and knelt to begin preparing the rabbits.

Jaskier has to snort a laugh at that. “Oh yes. You were just sitting in a corner. Alone. With your big swords on display. Scaring the poor barmaids. Glaring at anyone who looked like they may even be _thinking_ of approaching you. Definitely not brooding.”

“So why did you?” Yennefer asked, not looking up, but proving Jaskier right that she was listening. “Approach him that is. If he was so intimidating?”

Gold eyes met his, and he could see the curiosity in them. His smile turned soft and endlessly fond. “Because for all his glaring and posturing, he looked…lonely.” The bard paused, remembering. “He looked like he hadn’t had anyone in his life in a long time.” Jaskier remembered loneliness, recognized it. The loneliness of his opulent but cold youth. The loneliness of the road after he’d left school. He’d been lonely too, back in that tavern. 

“What happened next Jaskier?” Ciri asked, scooting closer to him. “Did you go and introduce yourself?”

Geralt snorted. “Not exactly.”

The bard glared in mock affront at the other man. “Excuse me. I am the one telling this story.” Geralt rolled his eyes but offered no further comment, so Jaskier continued. “As I was saying. I looked up and saw our dear Witcher and thought to myself, no one that beautiful should look so alone. So I picked myself up and walked over. After ignoring his glare, which really was more for show, and complimenting him on his _remarkable_ brooding skills, I asked him, in three words or less, for a review of my performance. And after a long silence, do you know what he said?”

“They don’t exist?” Ciri asked, repeating his earlier words. 

Jaskier nodded. “They don’t exist,” he said, dropping his voice in an imitation of Geralt’s deep rumbling voice. “Baffled, I asked, much as you did- what don’t exist- and waited for his response. Truly this was the most intriguing review I’d ever gotten. ‘The creatures in your song’,” here he imitated Geralt again. “After a brief moment of confusion as to how he would know, it dawned on me who, exactly, I was speaking with. When the farmer lad asked for his help with what he claimed was a devil, stealing their food, I knew I couldn’t let this man get away. After our encounter with the elves- which, admittedly went quite a bit different than in the song- I realized lonely, beautiful and most of all _kind_ man was far more than the stories made him out to be. So I wrote my song to help his image, found my way back to his side time and time again. And the rest, as they say, is history.”

Ciri sighed happily when he finished. Geralt, working on their dinner still, just rolled his eyes. Yennefer, still inter the pretense of her task, scoffed. “But it’s so romantic!” The princess protested at the noise. “It is!” She continued when the sorceress scoffed again. “He didn’t even know who Geralt was, but he didn’t want him to be lonely! And even when he found out, he still followed Geralt no matter what dangers and they fell in love! It’s romantic!”

“If you say so princess,” Yennefer still sounded skeptical, but didn’t protest further and soon turned the girl’s attention to a magic lesson. Jaskier went back to strumming his lute idly, but he was mostly watching Geralt, who would occasionally look up and catch him watching. The Witcher’s eyes would go soft and the corner of his mouth would tick up in a small, knowing smile. Much different from the glares of their early days together. 

Later that night, in their now shared bedroll, with Geralt’s arm wrapped firmly around his waist, the Witcher spoke softly. “Those weren’t my first words to you.” Jaskier made a noise of inquiry and rolled to face his Witcher. “When we met in that tavern. What you told Ciri. Those weren’t my first words.”

Reaching up to stroke a lock of white hair, Jaskier smiled. “I remember. Call it artist liberties if you like,” at that Geralt hummed in what the bard knew was find exasperation, and he laughed. Extending his neck up, he kissed the tip of the Witcher’s nose. “Call it that if you like, but ‘they don’t exist’ was far more memorable. And far more intriguing. And intrigue, my dear Witcher, is one of many reasons I decided to follow you.”

Geralt hummed again, this time in acceptance and pleasure, and leaned in to kiss the bard properly. As their lips met Jaskier had to admit maybe Ciri had a point earlier. 

Romantic indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> this happened because when rewatching the show i genuinely thought those were Geralt's first words and then they weren't but it spiraled into this


End file.
